I’m not here to preach in after-school-special fashion that your friends could be bad influences because they might expose you to drinking, vandalism or even drugs (oh no!).
This blog is for adults and if you haven’t learned to NOT hang out with morons then you are yourself a moron so feel free to skip this blog post. For those of you who aren’t morons (or don’t consider yourself to be one), keep reading.
Friendship is an important part of life. Yet, I believe, friendship is often times misused. A good friend can motivate you to succeed and even join you in your struggles (to help you out). However, it is my opinion, that most of our “friends” aren’t good friends. They are just normal friends (or even bad friends).
What’s Normal…and Worse Yet, What’s Bad?
I consider a normal friend someone that is just there. They show up at all the gatherings, they sometimes say a few good one-liners and they’re usually always up for a “good time”. But, you don’t really know them and they don’t really know you. They provide absolutely nothing to your existence other than a physical body occupying a chair making your duo a triple or your quartet and quintet (meaning they are just a +1).
A bad friend is similar to a normal friend but they feel a need to project their fears and anxieties on you. They are the ones that’ll be the first to make the smart-ass comment about how your next great idea isn’t going to work. Or they’re the ones that’ll sooner make a joke about whatever you have to say rather than take you seriously. I believe their lives suck so much (in their minds) that they only find pleasure trying to convince everyone else their lives suck too.
Both a normal friend and a bad friend are pointless or destructive wastes of time. And if you’re honest with yourself you know who these people are. If you close your eyes you can probably picture at least a few of both types of friends immediately.
So What’s the Problem?
The problem is that these people, whether you agree with me or not, ARE wasting your time. And more importantly, they are indirectly (or sometimes directly) guiding you away from your goals. If every weekend you surround yourself with one or two good friends and then a bunch of normal or bad ones, who do you think will dominate the mood. Obviously the majority.
Now think about this, if every time you have free time you surround yourself with a majority (or equal-jority) of normal/bad friends then you are using up all of your free-time (and possibly most productive time) in a non-productive, slightly negative and basically pointless environment. If you have any real goals in life how do you expect to ever achieve them using your time like this?
And if you don’t think their influence is that great, you’re sadly mistaken. Just by having those idiots around you’ll first cater your language so as not to set off some smart ass remark from the bad-friends. Then you’ll cater the conversation to whatever the group (mostly normal friends) are talking about. Then to tolerate the stupidity of it all, you’ll probably drink yourself drunk so as not to kill yourself with boredom (that’s at least what I’d do…but I don’t drink, AND I don’t hang out with idiots in the first place). Another potentially productive evening destroyed with lameness because of the “friends” you chose to hang out with.
How Do You Solve a Problem Like….a Friend?
It’s simple, STOP HANGING OUT WITH THEM!!! Why go to parties and clubs and etc…to be around these troglodytes that, in all honesty, you couldn’t care less about. In fact, you probably think most of them are idiots. Well, NEWS FLASH if you constantly, and by choice, hang out with “idiots”…guess what? You’re one of them!
Whether you like it or not you will imitate the people around you. So unless you are surrounded by people you respect, admire, perhaps want to mimic and even love…you are hanging out with TOO MANY PEOPLE. Limit your “friend” list to only good friends (this doesn’t have to apply to your Facebook list, but it might help).
I don’t hang out with anyone I don’t actually respect as a person and geniunely care about and enjoy. And so what that basically means is that I don’t really hang out with anyone. I have about two or three people I consider to be good friends that I do on occasion hang out with (one of them is Morgan and I see her everyday because of our business). Other than that, I have a few more people that I consider candidates for “good” friendness but I’ve never really hung out with them so they aren’t officially ranked. BUT, if I deem anyone to be “normal” or just plain “bad” I drop them like a bad habit.
Remember, you are your most precious asset (seriously, can you think of anything in this world that is more valuable than you?). And the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can give someone is your time. We are all on the clock to death and every second we use is a second we can NEVER get back. So why give away so much of your time to people who you don’t actually care about?
Treat friendship as you would treat dating. I’m assuming you wouldn’t date any yahoo who showed interest or just showed up, would you? So why be “friends” with every monkey you meet or is at the same party. If you don’t respect them, if you don’t want to be like them, then don’t hang out with them AT ALL. Surround yourself with only people that you love and care about (and love and care about you) and you’ll see, while your social life may be a bit smaller, the relationships will be that much stronger. And in the end, it’s those relationships that will help you lead a life you truly love…normal/bad friends will only get in your way.